Thursday, January 27, 2011

Prompt: If you could change anything about your pet....

 If you could change anything about your pet, what would it be?
I would make my cat a dog.  A dog that is housebroken, doesn’t shed and is barkless. 
My cat was adorable when we first got him.  He nibbled on my coat zipper as I gazed into his amber eyes and that was it. 
“We’re getting this one,” I told my husband. 
He slept with me every night until I booted him at the ripe old age of 7 in favor of our firstborn child.  I didn’t want cat hair on the sheets because of course, he used to paw at the blankets until I lifted them, half-asleep, for him to crawl under.  I didn’t want to be worried about kitty litter remnants or anything (which strangely, I hadn’t thought of prior to having a child….ew.) 
Then he began eating an enormous amount of food.  Maybe he was depressed because he wasn’t sleeping in our bed anymore or maybe he had post partum after I brought the baby home.  Who knows.  He became a giant cat.  Every single person that came into our home immediately said the exact same thing: Wow!  That is a huge/fat cat!  Due to his inordinate weight gain, he ceased to groom himself properly.  Why our second cat also ceased to groom him will forever remain a mystery….because I don’t speak cat.  But speaking from a common sense viewpoint, I’d say it was because he was gross. 
He was always a talkative cat, but now, he whines.  Incessantly.  At all hours of the day and night.  I started out startled and curious (around 1am) and annoyed (by 2am) followed by terribly cross and cursing (struggling at 4am).  Finally, I found myself wanting to do him harm in a really violent way (around about sunrise).  At first, I wanted to find out what the problem was; generally when he meowed, he wanted or needed something.  Maybe his food bowls were half empty or maybe the dog’s water bowl was empty (yea, he would cry if the DOG’s water bowl was empty, even when the cat’s water bowl in the next room was full!!).  Lately, he seems to be irritated that we turn off the gas fireplace at night!  Apparently, his fat came with a side of diva! 
At this point, my love has turned to….well, not hate exactly but more of a deep abiding disrespect. 
I will never again get a cat.   


  1. I like your post! Your poor cat. I feel sorry for him. Maybe he did get postpartum depression when you brought the baby home. That or second child syndrome. I don't speak cat either so what do I know?

    Visiting via Mama Kat's and following you:)

  2. The problem with pets and babies is that they don't speak English.


    This is funny and I love it. I share many of the same feelings towards our puppy. But then again we had to get rid of her this week. So now my feelings shift from pure glee to deep sadness and sorrow. I am lying about that second feeling.

    have a great day!


  3. This is great! I'm still chuckling. I've had similar thoughts about our cat even though in moments she can sometimes act like a dog.

    So glad I stopped by (via Mama Kat's), and thank you for stopping by my blog yesterday.

    Oh, and I'm love with the look of your blog as well as the title of it. Especially the title, which appeals to the writer in me.

    Great post!

  4. Melanie: thanks!! :) I'm glad you like the look, it's always good to get feedback! :)
    thanks for stopping by!
    Angie: you are too funny! lol I am going to head over to your blog this evening hopefully! :)
    Bruna: I know, Tigger sounds so sad, right? Wanna adopt him? :) LOL Thanks for stopping by!

  5. I'm typing this with a cat on my lap. She was a birthday gift 12 years ago and provided many years of entertainment. However, she is now sick and throws up all over the house at least twice a week. I'm not happy.


    Unfortunately, the kids love cats, so I'm not sure I can avoid getting another one. :P


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