Monday, February 28, 2011

Writing Prompt: One Pet Peeve That Shouldn't Drive You Crazy....

...but it does!!

My husband does not prepare for anything. Ever.

I should have realized this would be an issue when he arrived at the church and realized neither he nor his brother, the best man, had the rings. (Really, red light here! His BROTHER forgot too?? Obviously a genetic misfire!)

I am an anal retentive planner who always has what’s next swirling through my head. And honestly, if you follow my process, I try to make my life as easy and routine oriented as possible. (in other words, just do what I tell you and everything will go smoothly!).

I’m not a control freak, really I’m not (I see your skeptically raised eyebrows!).

I am what is called an “independent spirit.” I don’t want to control you (I actually see that as a complete pain in my butt to be trying to get people to do things…you know, like my 6 year old. It’s miserable! Why would I seek that out??) I do not seek out control but don’t mess with ME and MY systems or someone is going to get hurt!

Case in point: my husband is traveling today. Flight at 7pm. Monday is my designated laundry day. Yeah, you can see where this is heading. I strip all the beds. Remove all the towels from all the bathrooms. I haul all the laundry baskets downstairs to sort. I head back upstairs to grab the sheets from the landing where I’ve chucked them and hear something in the laundry room. I go back down and peak in. My husband, looking totally guilty and like a fox in the henhouse, is withdrawing his hand from the buttons like, “Oh, was I not supposed to touch that?” The water starts whirring.

“Let me guess, it’s MY laundry day but because you have to travel, you JUST emptied your suitcase from last trip {a good 6 weeks ago!} and now you’re doing YOUR laundry?”

Image credit: Leonid Mamchenkov
He looks indignant.

“I put some of your stuff in there too!”

Great. Even better.

I know he is trying to help. In years past, he’d be frantic and throwing laundry everywhere and demanding to know why I hadn’t done his laundry, he had a FLIGHT {or drill or whatever!}. I coldly informed him I was not his mother, I would not be unloading his suitcase for him and a lack of planning on his part does not constitute an emergency on mine!

I used to get all caught up in his frenzy and be rushing around at 9:30pm the night before drill, desperately trying to find badges and backs to pins and his shoe shine stuff. And then one night I was exhausted and I just stopped and said, “This is YOUR drill. You have a drill schedule. You’ve known since last drill, 5 weeks ago, when this drill was. You chose to wait until the night before to get ready. I’m tired. I’m going to bed!”

He actually tried to tell me I “had” to help him, how was he going to get it all done??

Lesson learned. Sorta. He doesn’t get ready any earlier to spare himself the stress, but he knows better than to ask me to help him get ready when I’m in the midst of household chores, screaming kids and unfinished blog posts. Not happening bub!

So you see, he sees jumping into the midst of my laundry day and doing his OWN laundry as helpful. He sees it as a step forward, he’s made a change. He’s doing it himself and in a totally non-accusatory way!


If he’s put some of my stuff in, then I suppose you could call that “help.” And I also suppose that actually trying to get him to do his laundry the night before instead of 4 hours before he has to leave would be like swimming against the current. Towing a boat. In a rainstorm. Doable, but really exhausting, stressful and kind of nonsensical.

Truly, most of the time, him doing his own thing doesn’t bother me, unless his slap-dashery that makes due as his routine does the cha-cha all over my routine, then I boil. I can’t help it. I just do!


  1. I can totally relate to this b/c I married a similar man.

    Its a good thing, I plan all the comings and goings or he would still be single. ;)

  2. Ha! Yep, I know that type all too well. My hubs is the same way. Its about as endearing as a puppy tracking mud into the house. Cute, but now you have to clean up after it [him].

    Stopping by from Mama Kat's

  3. thanks for the stop-bys! :) I am glad I am not the only neatnik vs. disorganized couple!! lol I try to let go of things that I know are just me, but other things just drive me bats@#t!


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